If you’re reading this, you’re possibly debating your social media future.
Let’s be honest, if you’re reading this, there’s a part of you that wants to quit, or knows you should!
Social media is entwined in our daily lives, with Facebook users alone being in the billions, surely we all need social media, right? Especially when there’s so much choice – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, WhatsApp, TikTok, and so on…
But, do we really need it?
Whilst I’ve never been one to spend hours aimlessly scrolling, or suffered (too much) with FOMO, I took a break for the best part of two years. Deactivating my accounts and deleting the apps from my phone. Here’s what I learned.
Anxiety – My mental resilience is tough but, I never appreciated the level of anxiety I was experiencing. It’s not something I’d lived with previously and I knew what I’d see would frustrate me, sometimes play on my mind, but with freedom from social media, came freedom from anxiety. No more exposure to all the anger, negativity, the easily offended, and the arguments between people that have never met, and never will.
Silence is golden – Social media was meant to connect us and give us all a voice, yet we have people feeling lonelier than ever and if you dare express a view that someone doesn’t agree with, they will freely hurl abuse at you from the safety of their keyboard. So what happens? You overthink it, don’t bother or delete your post. Not having social media means you don’t ever feel that nervousness about how your post will be received.
Time on my hands – ever feel like you don’t have enough time? Ditch social media! Honestly, my brain was so active and my productivity improved as I was able to focus more easily. I worked on my personal and professional development. Believe it or not, that expensive smart phone you have can be used to help you work smarter and achieve life goals rather than just for scrolling. I even started meditating. It was great!
Reconnection – I chose to focus on relationships with the real people in my life, so the other thing I did was reach out to those who are important to me (no offense if you didn’t hear from me). We fool ourselves into thinking that we’re keeping in touch when we ‘like’ or comment on a friend’s post, but if they’re important to you, go for a coffee, video chat, pick up the phone and speak to them, or at least drop them a text – something more personal, it means so much more.
It is amazing how calm and at peace your mind can be when you’re not taking in all the social media noise and as time passes, a few realities hit you.
- Why am I allowing all these people and their random mutterings to consume my time and mental space?
- Why am I allowing the negativity from social media into my life? My REAL life doesn’t have this level of negativity.
- Why do I care what is going on with someone I’ve never met or not seen in 20 years?
Then I thought,
- Why would they give a damn about me? Does anyone really want to see pictures from my walk earlier or read my rant about the dangerous driving I witnessed earlier?
But the last thing, and the one that I think was the real trigger for me to think it’s time to call it a day was the realisation that the more time I’m scrolling to keep up with what is going in other people’s lives, I’m not doing anything for myself or fully living my own life.
I know better than many that time is precious (My story). It’s the one thing you can never get more of, no matter who you are or how much money you have so I thought – “stop the scrolling, concentrate on who and what is important to you”.
So what are my takeaways after this time?
Privacy concerns
A great deal is made about the privacy issues with social media, particularly Facebook, but lets be honest, we all know about the privacy concerns yet carry on using it, so people can’t be that worried!
Does it make you happy?
Once you’ve finished scrolling, do you feel better and happier for it? If you’re desperate for likes, comments, and follows, and feel unhappy when you don’t receive them, I’d suggest reconsidering your usage. Why invest time and effort in something that isn’t adding value to your life or bringing you any kind of joy?
Anti-social media
Come on, you know it’s anti-social! We’ve all seen those people out together, not talking because they’re all on their phones, checking in and then ‘liking’ each other’s check-ins. That’s not what anyone would class as “sociable”.
Us humans need social interaction. Online may help in some instances but it’s not a replacement, and it IS impacting on our ability to build and maintain relationships with others – there are so many people that have 1,000 Facebook friends but feel completely alone.
Busy time vs quality time
It robs us of quality time – we’re all so busy, we all have 24 hours per day, use them wisely.
Once you appreciate the value of time, you realise that endless scrolling is just a waste. I’ve also observed how it robs people of the ability to focus. More people work now with their phone in front of them, waiting for the next notification alert. The best way to focus on a task for any length of time is to keep the phone out of sight.
Anxiety and depression
Honestly, it breaks my heart how many people, especially the younger generation, are living with anxiety and/or depression, or have experienced it.
I’m not saying it’s all social media’s fault, of course it’s not, but I’ve witnessed the negative impacts of social media. I’m not a doctor but in my experience, there is often an obvious and significant link between these mental health conditions and social media usage.
Say “No!” to FOMO
Look, I know FOMO is real but if you can learn to not care what’s going on or what you might be missing out on, to focus on living in the present, your present, you’ll feel a new sense of freedom.
Think about it, whilst you’re scrolling the highlights of other peoples’ lives – you’re actually missing out on living your own life – now that’s the FOMO you should really be worried about.
Connection correction?
It connects you with like-minded people – which is great if you’re a fan of a sports team for example but, what if someone is spreading hate? We don’t need to be connecting those people. Diversifying our connections should be the aim if we’re to create the open and accepting World most of us want to live in.
Do your housekeeping
When was the last time you did any housekeeping on your social media? Not many people do so everything you’ve ever posted remains there for all to see. Which is fine if you’ve been careful but we’ve people now at working age that have grown up with social media, so all those teenage years are there for all to see. You don’t need your new colleagues being able to see how drunk you got at that house party back in the day!
We all change as individuals throughout our lives, our attitudes, beliefs and opinions grow and evolve yet. We update our CV as we update our skills but don’t tidy up our social media, which is why we’re seeing more instances of people being fined, suspended or dismissed because of their social media profiles. Do the housekeeping and don’t let something you said as a naïve 14 year old kick your ass as a 25 year old building your career.
Unlock your potential
Whilst you’re scrolling, worrying about what others are doing, you’re not looking after yourself, building your future or working towards achieving your potential.
It’s designed to get your time and attention, It can be as addictive as alcohol and drugs – yet doesn’t come with the same health warnings or age limits!
I figured that those that have achieved anything, probably haven’t allowed themselves to be distracted by time wasters such as social media! They are the people we now follow.
Have you ever tried to delete social media only to go back to it before the 30 days account deletion period is up? If so, that’s the point! We’re addicted. The fact we can’t let go is the very reason many of us should step away.
The language we use really strikes me too. People talk about ‘quitting’ social media, much the same as people talk about quitting smoking, alcohol or drugs, i.e., all those things we know aren’t good for us if not used in moderation.
I’ll leave you this thought…
“Fire’s not good, or bad. It can warm us up or it can burn our house down – it’s how we use it.”
Jim Kwik
The same applies to social media. The choice is yours.
Think Can Will 